Drop the softened cream cheese into a bowl and beat it smooth, about 1 minute. Lumps now mean lumps forever, so don't rush this part.
Add the Greek yogurt, powdered sugar, and vanilla. Beat again until it's silky and cloud-like.
In just 2 minutes, fold in most of your diced strawberries by hand, a spatula, not the mixer, so they don't turn to mush.
Spoon it into a serving bowl and pile the rest of the berries on top.
Chill for 15 minutes if you can wait. Can't wait? I get it. Grab a graham cracker and dig in.